4/01/2009 03:55:00 PM - Wednesday, April 1, 2009
its not easy to be good all the time..there are certain time, people will start doubting upeople will start thinking bad abt u..and still u noe tat u are not a bad person..yet in different situation,people will think differently about uden u started to blame urself of wad had happenedu started regreting the things u have done and wish all those time to go back..yet..its useless..u felt very bad tat u disappoint alot of people..too many has been disappointed..the pressure is intensed..and u start to doubt urself..things hav been rough for me these dayz..i dunnoe how to handle it..i noe i have dissapoint others..i noe i let down too many people..i noe i my mistake..but i didnt hav a choice..i hadnt been myself lately..i always rushing here and there..always prioritising the wrong thingalways making the wrong choices..i noe..coz im taking the pressure of the consequences and im not liking it..realli hate it..
and still i need to make a choice..
i have to sacrifice somethings..
it mayb rough for me..but i hav to live with it..
i gotta stay strong..
im sori my frenz for hurting u..
i noe it doesnt make a difference..
but i was force to make a dicision..
i didnt mean to hurt u or to trouble u..
my hands are tight..i juz dunnoe wad to do anymore..
how i wish someone wud guide me thru tis lyfe..
how to handle such probz..how i wish..
3/29/2009 09:34:00 PM - Sunday, March 29, 2009
all it takes to change my whole lyfe...
it's juz a simple request...
simple enough...but hard to find
having juz one person...
one sweet gerl....
3/28/2009 11:57:00 AM - Saturday, March 28, 2009
hye guyz!
sori for not updating my blog for such a long tyme..
i've not being myself lately..
i dunnoe wats the reason
but it seems like..i feel tat i dun wan to write on this blog
for now..
it brings me alot of memories..
for those hu reads my blog often...
im reali2 sori for not updating..
its not tat i dun like to update..
i cudnt..
i'll be back updating more wen i have the tyme..
even if i hav the tyme ..i gotta hav the mood..
i'll linked u guyz later alrite?
bye
2/14/2009 09:44:00 PM - Saturday, February 14, 2009
dun ask me if i gone out today or not
coz i didnt..
yeap..
a special day for teenagers like me...
the day where we share love,sparks love and some even make love..
but for me..
i didnt have plans..
in the afternoon i got tuition until 2pm
den nuthing..was tinking to accompany kak yaya but since she wan to sleep the whole day..
i dun tink i wud wan to go her house..
so i went home..thinking tat somebody is at home..
but there was no one..
so i went online..but still,not many is online..
the usual frenz i chat went out..to celebrate valentine's
even most of cousins..ella,bibah,midah..zul...haiyo.
switched out?im not surprise they all bz...azzrul go out with sharina...afiq dgn mataer baru dier..farhan dgn pmpn istimewa...rauf tk tahu pulak..
haiyo...
suddenly..i felt like im alone in this world...but i wun juz back down juz like tat..i noe i've been writing post tat is emotional..depressed..but i dun wan tat to ruin my lyfei have my lyfe to livei have things i have to do while i can..i wan to make my lyfe the best i want..and i noe..she, whoever she is...will come into my lyfe one day..i wun hope she'll come soon..coz she will come..mayb i've been someone new..or shud i say it..somebody hu is not me..somebody hu try the bad things..and become somebody bad..i noe i've been tat guy kind of guy..but i still believe,there is still good in me..the reason i do those stuff its bcoz i was confusedi was confused with my own feelingsmy ownself..i was confused after all those shotdowns in the pasti tried my best to bring it aside..i try to life my life the way i want..
2/05/2009 11:30:00 PM - Thursday, February 5, 2009
a story abt a sweet guy in a bitter life...
life can be realli wonderful
but at the same time it cud be realli painful and hurting..
it all started with a simple crush
and it has grown as big as u can imagine..
if a sincere guy likes a gerl..
he goes all out with her..
never been he has been in tat state of mind of seriousness with a relationship..
and he wud be hoping every single day that the gerl would be his..
but as mention..life can be so painful and hurting..
his love wasnt accepted..
after more 3 months he waited and tried his very best..yet he still cant hav the gerl he dreamed of..
so he did wad he tinks is best..he left her and move on in life..
after a year..things hadn't been better..he never had any gerl the same as her...
memories of the gerl sometimes visited hym in his lonely nights
a couple of months later..he got to noe tat she was with another guy...
wad make it worst,he saw her with his own eyes..
he quickly turn his back..trying to avoid her to see him..
after all these years of trying to forget her..
y did fate brings them together and trying to hurt hym again by see his own eyes..
"why u came back to my life girl..after all this while i was trying to get off u on my mind..after all those lonely nights missing u..and now i see u with another person..holding hands..y am i running away from u..y i dun wan to see u..after all those lonely nights..i've been missing u..wishing u to come back..and now u did but with another person..mayb tats y i cant face u now...the truth tat i've running away from has come back to me smacking be on the back..realising wad is life..making me realise..im realli not for u...making me..gave up the feelings tat i had tat was once beautiful and decent...perhaps tat's the truth..perhaps..."
hey ppl!!
this is a story i've made up
let me noe wad u tink alrite!
bye!
1/22/2009 10:41:00 PM - Thursday, January 22, 2009
hey guyz..
yea..i noe its not me to update blog all the time..
but i juz cant take it anymore
i need to let go the things that i have been keeping..
the whole day i was moody
yes i was,i noe the few posts i've posted that i was moody
well tat's the reason for this blog..
to let it go..sad or happy...good or bad..
well, as u noe bad things hav been happening happened
Last night, i was shocked..dissapointed and angry at the same time..
y?y all this things happened?
i never thought tat u were like that..
the truth was painful and unfair..
why u?why u had to do that?u dun deserve this..yet this things happened..
its too late to do anything now..i cant help it..
i cud onli advice..yet i feel tat is not enuf
but i cant go further..
n i realli hate the feeling of being helpless..i cant do anything to help u.
i hope u made the right decision..wadever it is..we'll be there to support u..
1/21/2009 12:06:00 AM - Wednesday, January 21, 2009
heyhey
i noe its late for me to post and update tis blog..
felt like it..
today was a tiring day..got maths the whole day..
still for 2 more tutorials to do..wait mayb 3..
haha
anw,today av math learn abt complex numbers
whoa!the complex numbers are realli2 complex sial
haha
no wonder they call it complex numbers
y they didnt call themselves complicated numbers or irritating number or annoying numbers tat is hard to find the ans of the qns(wow!tats a long word for a topic)
hahaha..
anw..got home late today..
was out with frens..
dilla was moody the whole day..
she didnt replied my msg for a long time..
i felt realli guilty wen i slept early last nite bcoz of certain reasons..
haiz..wish cud be there..
today she wasnt herself..i juz noe it..
dilla if u read tis..
u noe i'll be here wenever u need me..
tats wad bestfrenz do..they help each other..
im doing my best to do wad i can..
but i cant..